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1st november 2000 - 14th october 2007 [13 Oct 2007|11:23am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Dear Balzac,
I know you are a dog and that you will probably never read this but I want you to know that I am sorry, and that I hope you can forgive me.
I failed as a dog owner to give you the love and attention that you craved so much, and it is only reasonable that you compensated for this by barking and destroying the garden. So this is why you are now leaving us. It is not because you were a bad dog, but because we were bad owners. But I am happy for you, because now you are going to be loved and adored in a new family. And also, you will have a new dog friend to play with. I am glad you are going this way, and that we didn't put you down. So thankyou for the fleeting years of joy that you gave me and my friends.
Goodbye my pet, and good luck with your life.

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Steph

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[27 Sep 2007|09:45pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

tra la la im on holidays! although this is the least holiday-like my holidays have ever felt like, its a holiday all the same!
i can't wait to get all my practice exams done, and go formal shopping, and go picnicking, and have my hair cut.
but now i must go and do last minute work for english!

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NONE [19 Sep 2007|09:17pm]
[ mood | numb ]

what. the. hell. in reading my ancient blogs i couldnt help but notice how excited and passionate i used to be about things. Everything was so exciting and easy and unimportant! Now everything is difficult and scary and draining. is it because of year 12? i don't know what i want to do with my life. i should, but i don't. i find the idea of having choice exhilirating, but once i commit to something i just want to stop. and crawl into a dark cupboard somewhere and hide. i dont think i can be a musician. i think that going to sydney next year will be the best thing that i can do. i know that running away from problems never works out, but if i hate it i will come back, and at least then will have some idea of what i want to do. i am really interested in social justice...

damn damn damn so many things to get done!!

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[15 Nov 2006|05:07pm]
[ mood | excited ]

NINE DAYS TIL FRANCE!!!!!!!! *brain falls out*

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[13 Nov 2006|08:55pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

can it be real? a new blog. well i'm sure if you blink it will disappear into the realms of cyberspace. i really feel like writing a blog, i don't usually. it's weird. i feel really strange. i can't think ahead i can only think in the present and just enjoying myself now and therefore i can't prepare myself for the exams. i sit down at my desk and do everything except maths! and i feel bad because i haven't made the most of my tutoring. i know i won't get a good maths result but i want to pass decently because mum is expecting me to. and i am going through cycles of extreme stress wondering how i can possibly do an exam knowing only vague information about combinatorics, to extreme calm knowing that it doesn't really matter what happens because i wont fail year 11. and then i get really stressed again because i haven't done any work! even though i was sitting at my desk for most of today i only did a bit of combinations and a miniscule bit of calculus! i don't care! but i don't know enough! and i don't know anything at all about chemistry. it is definitely weeks or maybe months since i did any chemistry work. but it doesn't matter does it! aiiieeeee. so tomorrow morning i am going to try and get my head around calculus then after french exam i have oboe lesson and maths straight after which is when i will go through it with tutor. i guess after that i will start writing summary sheets. and what am i going to do on thursday during the 3 hour gap??? i won't be able to do any maths. its like somebody has turned a switch off in my brain or slowed it down. i want my brain back! the pic on my myspace kinda sums up how i feel :/

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a NEW entry [04 Sep 2006|09:24pm]
[ mood | content ]

It has a been a while hasnt it? Well I have decided to start blogging again and document all the mundane things that happen in my life. I will try not to lapse into long periods of silence. As usual.
I did ENNEAGRAM test at okcupid. I am a type three.

"I need to succeed"

Achievers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.

How to Get Along with Me

* Leave me alone when I am doing my work.
* Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.
* Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.
* Don't burden me with negative emotions.
* Tell me you like being around me.
* Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.

What I Like About Being a Three

* being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat
* providing well for my family
* being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge
* staying informed, knowing what's going on
* being competent and able to get things to work efficiently
* being able to motivate people

What's Hard About Being a Three

* having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence
* the fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful
* comparing myself to people who do things better
* struggling to hang on to my success
* putting on facades in order to impress people
* always being "on." It's exhausting.


So this is basically me. *Friends take note*

I love my new earring! I am reborn! But it doesn't hurt at all and I feel really bad that Ally is suffering with hers :( (if i could take the pain away i would!) Anyway *note to self: remember to tell people that you faint when harmed* Ally! When did we decide we wanted to get piercings? How did it come up in conversation??
I can't wait to take them out and change them and hopefully not infect myself in the process. I just spoke to my grandma on the phone and tried to tell her I got my ear pierced. I don't know if she understood me because she didn't react to it. Well I guess she will when she SEES ME IN 12 WEEKS!!! no not 12. 12 is paris... ummm 13 weeks? Getting quite close now. I should start making lists of stuff. Like when Ally and Caitlin went to Japan they were obsessing over it for ages and making lists and stuff (a lot like me and ally with the piercings) but i dont have anybody so i'm kind of forgetting! I need to make present lists and etc.
The spring concert is this wednesday and it's going to be fun :) I'm playing gabriel's oboe and a duet with john on clarinet which I am not fully competent on but its still fun to play. I dont know about listening to it..
Ally you told me to put pics here but its hard ok? You need to tell me what image site to use because I dont know. And dont want to work it out myself. well lateness it coming
and zebedee says...

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[28 Dec 2005|08:56pm]
[ mood | blah ]

hello to everybody who reads my lj and merry christmas
the imposter cat is in heat and mum says will become pregnant any minute. a while ago we booked an appointment with the vet for it to be desexed, on the 4th of january. so hopefully it can manage to not impregnate itself in a week. then we would have kittens! i think my dad would die.
our new garage is coming along. the concrete floor has been done and i have been told it will not actually become a guest room, it will be just a garage and shed. and lo and behold we have GRASS. for the first time in 5 years our back garden is covered in grass and it is the middle of summer! its because balzac has been in shackles for the past month while the garage is being done. the grass was all up to my knees the other day so we mowed it. anyway enough about grass.
i found out last week i think that the organisation my band is part of - melbourne youth music - has had its funding severely cut. it was previously struggling to exist on $300,000 a year, and now the funding has been reduced to $100,000 a year. this is obviously a very drastic cut and i dont know if the organisation will survive next year which is horrible to think about. they sent us a letter saying they can only operate for one term with this money. i dont know why the funding was cut - mym is an incredible training program for young musicians. now on the other hand, i just found out that my soccer club has been selected as one of many soccer clubs around australia to share in $200,000 worth of soccer gear and equipment, courtesy of a telstra funding scheme. so while my soccer club thrives my band is dying. what about the music??? argh!!!
also i got a letter today from mrs dyer! my french student is called alix and she will be arriving on the 7th of feb. they didnt provide email addresses so im going to send her a letter.

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[21 Dec 2005|02:10pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

stupid dog! stop waking me up at 7 in the morning to come and untangle you! look - he's managed to catch himself on 3 corners blargh
Free Image Hosting by TheFreeImageHosting.com

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[13 Dec 2005|04:12pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Hello everybody

hope everybody is having a spiffing holiday. This is the "imposter cat"

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

So far I have been to a reed making workshop which was good and i learnt lots of new things. I also went to do that recording thing, which was lots of fun. They were mainly uni students - flute, clarinet, french horn and violins. It was at SAE - school of audio engineering. its a really cool building, with all these people filming movies and recording stuff. We basically just played this piece while a guy recorded it for his degree. And we were paid with pizza. The guy organising it gave me a christmas card and shortbread. He was so nice!

Yesterday i found out i got 36 for music. Im so happy! i was dreading the moment and though i would get below 30. my marks were A+, B and B+. the A+ mark was for performance and worth 50% of the entire subject. it will be scaled down though and i have to wait until the end of year 12 to know what it will be to. anyway its a good indication of how hard i will need to work next year when i do solo.

We want to keep the cat but dad wants to get rid of it. So i'm not sure what will happen. Maybe he will forget about it...

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[20 Oct 2005|08:54pm]
[ mood | working ]

you guys better be listening to your cds! hopefully i can spread the joys of sufjan stevens and joanna newsom. sufjan is such a cool word but it has such a wussy pronunciation (soof-yon) wuss wuss wuss
just wanted to say that
i'll get back to my what makes a person evil rant

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[19 Oct 2005|09:37pm]
[ mood | shocked ]

oh my god! i just got a call from melbourne sinfonia - semi professional orchestra in melbourne. they want me to play with them for their next concert and now i cant concentrate on my STUPID HISTORY ASSIGNMENT
BLEH
*curse* *shakes fist at mr ots*
heee isnt that shocked face so cute.
and OH MY GOD ally you are so cute in that cow photo!
i am the html master now after that website
yeah check it out: http://www.geocities.com/kinder_transport/index.html

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Aiiiieee!!!!!! [14 Oct 2005|10:06pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

*Gasp* i just did this fantastic oboe quiz - the oboe purity test!

Oboish
You scored 79 oboe purity!

You are Oboish! (and yes, as of now that is a real word) If you fall
into this catagory, you either play the oboe or really like the oboe.
But you are somewhat normal (but still cool) and can be mistaken for
another woodwind player. You don't have all that much experiance but
you enjoy playing.(and that's what counts). You are pretty pure, but
there is still hope in corrupting you.
You don't make your own reeds yet and for that reason you should
consider yourself lucky.
(Please rate this test!)



My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 0% on oboe purity
Link: The Oboe Purity Test written by coranglist85 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test


it was really funny. i think www.okcupid.com is a good test site.
i had crazy dreams last night. i was walking home and a man pointed a gun at me, but it didnt really look like a gun. it was very small. it took a few seconds for it to register to me and then i just screamed madly and became immensely scared. he shot at me twice but the bullets didnt hit me. then i was lying on the ground and mum was there. and i woke up and was petrified! damn it schindlers list!

if you like abstract peaceful vocal sort of martha wainwright style music listen to joanna newsom. sprout and the bean in particular
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Caaaamping [11 Oct 2005|08:37pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Ally i have a present for you ;) Doesn't that look so exciting in bold and all! So if you read this now you will be excited in advance.
I dont really have much to say, except that i'm really excited about camping. I think the thing i am most anxious about is getting really cold because i hate being cold. its not like my greatest hate of all time but once you are actually cold you realise how much you hate being cold so ANYWAY i will have a hard time finding all those polar fleeces, thermals, non cotton garments and daggy pants. I think the funnest thing will probably be sitting around the campfire at night. I hope we see a wombat but i hope it doesnt eat our tent. I escaped carrying a tent/trangia but i will make that up to you guys by carrying the food or most of it. but not all. not all!
i love the song lowrider. go and donwload it! the one by zz top.
i had a mango and now i am full.
Well i'm going to go back to my boring life now and practise chords and make reeds while listening to sufjan stevens. Too-roo!

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[27 Sep 2005|11:57am]
[ mood | drained ]

Where to begin! caitlin's party was awesome. we went to the pancake parlour, watched dvds and then talked the whole night. I didn't get tired, and now im thinking maybe it was because of the coffee not hte pepsi. But i have never not slept before and it is so utterly weird. I went for an oboe lesson at 9am and when i came back it felt like it was 4pm, like school had just finished. that was aaages ago and its not even lunch time yet! my reed making is coming along well, although i keep accidentally gouging huge chips out of the cane. my oboe teacher is really nice though and is encouraging me not to despair. we made some reeds which actually sound nice, which is a relief.
But anyway, I can't believe we found so many things to do the whole night without getting bored - all the quizzes and games... and lolly towers! and frank and tilly!! ahhhhh. And HEEN!
Now i have to try not to sleep today so i dont mess up my body clock any more. i have to go and revise for driving test which is at 1.40pm.
Then I have my terrible french ass. to finish and junk mail.
And my UNCLE AND AUNTY ARE COMING TOMORROW! TOMORROW

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Caitlin [23 Jul 2005|11:53am]
[ mood | chipper ]

Caitlin, what a wonderful person you are. You have lots of confidence and are not afraid to be yourself.
Of course I would have rung you, but with your japanese students and all...
To all my other friends, I love you all equally
*runs off to caitlin shrine*

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report writing day whooo [10 Jun 2005|02:40pm]
[ mood | content ]

Today has been exhilirating
i slept in, then folded my junk mail in front of midday tv. I discovered a show called Extra French! It's really cool, and you can understand all the french they say because its kinda basic. Its so funny! its on abc, friday, 11am just in case you were wondering.
Then mum took me to lunch. We went to Faducci and i had a bacon bullet foccaccia which came with salad and it was soo nice. Then mum went to medicare and we bumped into my dentist which was kind of weird, because i totally dont recognise her without her dentist clothes. It was slightly akward and she had a brief mothers conversation with my mum while waiting in the queue. So hows chris..your children..school etc etc
Came home, rang melbourne uni about work experience. The guy was really nice and welcoming, so it should be great. My only problem now is figuring out what exactly "neat casual" means so i don't humiliate myself. But im sure i wouldn't humiliate myself.
The winter concert is next wednesday, and we havent rehearsed our trio thing for a while. John said we could rehearse on tuesday (i forgot to tell him i have work experience then) or if worse comes to worse, half an hour before the concert. Great! I also forgot to ask him what we're playing. So it should be fun :)

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[06 Jun 2005|04:36pm]
[ mood | weird ]

whoo im updating look at me go.
nearly every time i update we're having chicken pesto pasta. coincidence?? i think not. well we're having it tonight.
I did the first aid test today and passed by 4 marks - 41/50.
We had the maths exam today and it went well i think. It helped doing last years exam.
we're getting broadband. eventually. we're up to the stage where someone says "lets get broadband" and someone actually starts doing something about it. ie my brother
1 month and 3 days till my bday!
I have my 8th grade oboe exam in TWO MONTHS and havent kept my scales going so i am devoting my 4 weeks off school to practicing my oboe. is it practicing or practising.i should know ms dyer has gone over this with us.
movies to see - hitch hikers guide.. - star wars
and obtain copy of harry potter when it comes out. soon!
Seeing as i have nothing interesting to update about I think i will leave
Oh judy was in my dream last night, but i cant remember what it was about.

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Easter and other things [29 Mar 2005|04:14pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Today is a happy day because we have no homework and tomorrow is a holiday. Then in two days we have more holidays! Yay! I'm listening to all this music I downloaded yesterday while not doing my geography assignment. And now I have a playlist full of songs that I actually like and am not sick of yet.
And this morning was exhilirating because Mr Wilson was weird and it was hilarious.
I can't really remember my weekend, except that I spent all of it doing my geography assignment. On Friday morning there was a bag of wrapped things on my chair and I just pushed it aside until an hour later when someone said "are you going to open that". Then I pretended to have known all along that it was my easter present. Anyway, I got a chocolate soccer ball and crunchie eggs. yum yum yum.
I wrote a quiz but am still waiting for certain people to do it *AHEM*
The OC is on tonight hurray. Im going to go play some Doom now. Au revoir. French sucks sooooo much

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[29 Jan 2005|06:49pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

I have my audition tomorrow. Not looking forward to it as I still can't play one of the pieces and am very bad at sight reading. Then I have the soccer gathering where we finally get our pendants for coming 2nd last year. Should be fun hopefully. I don't know where i'll be playing soccer this year... very complicated. The old club is bad so coach is trying to move us.
Yesterday during the crazy storm a tree fell over in the back yard. It fell on the washing line and bent it really bad. So dad spent most of today chopping it up in bits and dumping it in the middle of the garden.
I can't wait for the Hottest 100 to come out on cd.
Having pesto pasta tonight yummmm

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[26 Dec 2004|03:56pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

Today I learned that you can't have everything in life. You can't sleep in on Boxing Day and then go to Chadstone.
Unless you live next door.
The traffic was horrific, and I am mentally scarred from it. And then when we arrived at Chadstone mum got fed up so we turned around and headed to Doncaster. Doncaster was great because all the crazy shoppers were at Chadstone. Anyway, got lots of reduced stuff there. Spent quite a lot though.
I suppose I should write something about Christmas. It was great, but very quiet. It was just me, dad and mum. A neighbour came over for half an hour then had to go somewhere else.
We had bacon and eggs for breakfast *mmmm* then opened presents. I now have a hair straightener! I also got lots of french stuff - magazine, calendar, idiom book. Mum wants me to improve my french *gah*
To my immense relief, mum liked the presents I got her.
We had goat for dinner, and it was really nice but soooo fatty.
We are going to the movies tonight to see ... a french film! It has Audrey Tautou in it. Its something about an engagement.

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